Last Flicker of Hope
by SilentPatronus
Summary: Ollie is leaving Holby but he's determined to fix something first. One-shot.


**Okay I got the idea from the Holby spoilers and where I think it's going with Ollie.**

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"That's it then? Your last shift done?" Mo turned towards the solemn man of whom she had gotten to know pretty well over the past year or so. The man nodded back at her his bright blue eyes seemed lifeless. She pulled him into a hug despite his resistance. Since the death of his wife he'd found it hard to communicate, he'd become depressed and felt a betrayal towards _her_ every time someone embraced him. Mo muttered a few words along the lines of "take care" and "remember to visit" even though she knew the chances of the latter were slim. She dismissed herself from their embrace and returned back to her duties.

He glanced round at the familiar surroundings taking a deep breath. All his memories belonged here. All his happiness came from here. But at the same time here was where he lost the people he loved the most, first Penny and now Tara. Holby had been a place where he developed as a person; he'd learnt so much and had made so many friends. Now, here he stood in the middle of the nurses station after his last shift, this was probably the last time he'd come here, the memories were too painful. He was planning on taking a couple of months out to go traveling, gain some breathing space. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go back into medicine anymore but he'd play it by ear.

"You alright mate?" he heard a familiar Scottish voice ask him. He turned around to see his curly-haired, cheeky friend smiling at him slightly. The concern was clear in his voice. He spent a moment just analysing the expression painted on Jonny's face and thought about how he was going to word what he was thinking without sounding like he was going to pry.

"Yeah, I was just wondering whether you could do me a favour?" he asked the nurse rather curiously. Jonny smiled as always was glad to help in any way he could. Had Jonny known what he was thinking he'd never have agreed.

"You're making a mistake." Was all he could say. Jonny looked at him confused and prompted him to explain further. "You and Ms. Naylor."

"With all due respect you don't understand the situation." Jonny tried to argue whilst wondering where all this had come from. The past few months he'd kept a distance from everyone and now he was trying to involve himself in other people's relationships?

"You don't need to understand the situation to see that you love her and quite frankly you're both being pathetic." His voice was raised now. It angered him so much. "I lost the one I loved and there was nothing I could do about it. Do you know how it feels to know that you'll never get that person back? It feels as if your heart has been ripped from your body and you feel so empty. You can never be happy." This was the most he had opened up to anyone bar his psychiatrist since her death. He was just so frustrated that Jonny didn't understand. "She's still there. Don't ruin your chance while you have it. Don't end up like me. Don't give up when there's still a chance. Never give up hope." Ollie concluded. He looked into Jonny's eyes for a nano-second before walking off heading in the direction of the locker room leaving Jonny pondering on what he'd just bee told.

He stood leaning against the door remembering all the stolen moments, all the anger and hurt, all the happiness he had felt in this one room, the time when he and Jac had a moment of madness, which eventually found its way round the hospital. The time when he'd stood there trying to make sense of Tara; the time when he'd found her lying on the ground, and the most recent time when he cried over her death. In reality he was not going to miss this room.

He felt a figure creep up behind him and knowing exactly whom it was he spoke. "I could never understand you. I could never make sense of you despite trying and trying. You come across so strong-minded – frosty even. But there must be something to you that we don't get to see. Something that Jonny found."

"Is this going somewhere?" she frowned not amused. She was no longer able to play the 'I'm your boss card' and wasn't willing to end on an argument with him either.

He just continued speaking from where he left off. "Don't push him away. You of all people know what it's like to lose someone you love irrevocably. Think. Think now. How would you feel if it was Jonny who'd died? You'd shut yourself off yet continue your work as you always do but deep down it would hurt you more than anything." He glanced back to see that the woman he was addressing was fighting tears. He didn't make a big deal over it. He'd had suspicions for a while. "I know you're pregnant."

"What?" she bluntly retorted. Her tears had vanished so she must have wiped them and there was a lack of emotion in her voice.

"Even you can't hide _that._ The tears, the cravings, the constant pains, and the civil relationship that you've got going on with Jonny were all too much of a give-away."

"Who else knows?"

"Typical you, it's always about your own image. When will you realise that there are other people in this world? You can lie and say you don't care but I know you do. I've seen the way you look at him Jac. You miss him. Don't make the same mistake you did with Joseph – don't let him walk away, if not for you for your child. You've done well to hide it by the way. You must be what 4 months pregnant?"

"9 weeks." Is all she can say.

He stands there for a moment working it out in his head and she notices her mistake once she's said it. "Jonny's not the father?" he questions her a little confused.

"No – he is."

"Then you two weren't together…" and suddenly it clicks. "Tara." Is all he can reply with. She nods carefully unsure how she got herself into the conversation and immediately blaming the hormones. "Whilst _she_ was lying on the table motionless you and Jonny were at it. Is that how it works?" He can't bring himself to say her name twice in succession and neither can he say the word 'death' not when now another life was involved. She doesn't say anything. He shakes his head absorbing the news uncertain of how to take it. He could shout, he could scream about how unfair it is. But that won't change the situation and it won't bring _her_ back. He doesn't have the energy to fight anymore. He's here to persuade her not to argue. All he can do is send her another reminder. "If it was Jonny who'd been taken from you what would you do knowing how it ended like this. You'd forever beat yourself up about it and you know that." "Good-bye Jac." Despite the collegial relationship between the pair he embraced her with a hug before walking out of the door heading down the stairs.

He's left two people thinking. He's left two people pondering on his words and he turns back to see Jac standing where he left him but this time someone had his arm round her and was holding her tightly and he could see her bury her head into his chest. He turned back again continuing his walk with a smile etched on his face.

One journey might have ended. _His _journey might have ended but another had just begun.


End file.
